June 9th, 2023 Pastor Brad Whipple
You can almost hear your kids/grandkids say it, “Do I haffff too?”
It’s almost like he wasn’t really listening or maybe he was just waiting for a break in the teaching to ask Jesus a question. Jesus has been teaching on how to handle things when someone sins against us and what to do if they don’t respond well.
It seems that Peter got stuck on something.
Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
He wants to know how many times he should forgive a person that sins against him. In rabbinic discussion, the consensus was that a person might be forgiven a repeated sin three times; on the fourth, there was no forgiveness. Peter, thinking himself big-hearted, volunteers “seven times” in answer to his own question. Most of us would consider forgiving a person 7 times to be quite kind but not Jesus.
As he does so often Jesus answers the question with a story.
Before we take a look at the story let’s ask a few questions ourselves?
Do we have to forgive, even repeatedly?
How in the world can we become so forgiving when it is hard?
Isn’t forgiving people over and over enabling them to stay in their sin?
Is there a limit? What if I simply cannot forgive them?
Get ready to listen to the story that shocked Peter.
“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
Peter had to have been stunned at this
As we hear this we should come away with 2 simple principles. One now and the other in a moment.
Forgiveness Principles:
- We forgive because we have been forgiven far more by our generous king
Before anything else
We must stop and remember the mercy we have received by a king who knew all our debts and yet through a humble act of asking we found mercy.
“Mercy” is not giving to a person what he deserves, while “grace” is giving to a person what he does not deserve.” Michael J. Wilkins
Once we really take hold of this we can be forgiving to those that ask us.
But I get it. Forgiving can be tough.
Forgiving others can be difficult for various reasons:
1. Pain and hurt from being wronged can create a strong desire for justice or revenge, making it hard to forgive.
2. Fear of being hurt again: Forgiving someone might be perceived as a sign of weakness or an invitation for them to repeat their hurtful behavior.
3. Lack of Apology or Remorse: It’s often difficult to forgive when the person who has done wrong shows no remorse or does not apologize.
4. We confuse forgiveness with forgetting. Forgive and forget may not happen but the image in our minds will fade if we choose. Sometimes it is best not to forget but learn an important lesson about what happened and why.
5. We think forgiveness is reconciliation. Forgiveness can be fairly quick but earning trust may take a long time and both parties must commit to the hard work.
6. We think we can forgive only if a person seeks forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a choice. A powerful choice that can be done even when a person won’t or hasn’t sought forgiveness.
Despite these challenges,
Forgiveness offers numerous benefits:
- Emotional Healing: Forgiveness allows for the healing of emotional wounds. By letting go of the resentment and negative emotions, individuals can start to heal and move forward.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Lewis B. Smedes
2. Improved Mental Health: Studies have shown that forgiveness can lead to improved mental health, reducing anxiety, depression, and stress.
3. Better Physical Health: There’s also evidence suggesting that forgiveness can lead to better physical health, including improved cardiovascular health and immune system function. Forgiving others can lead to a greater sense of peace and wellbeing, freeing you from the burden of carrying around anger and resentment.
4. Improved Relationships: Forgiveness can help improve relationships and build stronger connections with others. Why? We are no longer controlled by fear and bitterness.
5. Dramatic Answers to Prayer: Look at this passage on faith to move mountains.
Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. 23 I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen.
But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. 24 I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.
25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:22-25
What if a powerful answer to prayer was simply waiting for you to forgive?
The act of forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting or condoning the harmful actions of others. Instead, it means choosing to let go of the negative emotions attached to those actions for one’s own peace and wellbeing.
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” – Paul Boese
To forgive means to release.
This series is called Commissioned: Following the commands of Jesus. And this is just like all the others a command to forgive.
Forgiveness Principle:
2. When we forgive great blessing comes into our lives
If you say I cannot forgive. That is true. In yourself. But when we depend upon His strength we have power to forgive.
Yes, you can forgive even when someone doesn’t ask or is no longer here to speak to.
I encourage writing a letter to people that are no longer present and extend forgiveness.
Refusing to forgive others can have significant negative effects as well. Simply take all the benefits I just laid out and reverse them and that is what you will experience.
“Grace is God as heart surgeon, cracking open your chest, removing your heart – poisoned as it is with pride and pain – and replacing it with his own.” – Max Lucado
Forgiveness Principle
3. We forgive because Jesus commands and empowers us to do so.
Yet one cannot miss the last verses in the parable.
“Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.” Matt 18:33-35
This is intense.
If we refuse to forgive according to what Jesus said in the Lord’s Prayer and here, we will not be forgiven. You see a true experience with Jesus will give you the grace, love, mercy and desire to forgive.
This is a hard scripture. But it is important to realize that if we can so harden our hearts so as to refuse to forgive fellow believers we show ourselves worthy of punishment.
Notice the qualifier Jesus puts on this. It must not be mere duty but from the heart. A choice that determines to let it go. Stop reminding ourselves or them of it. To lay it aside when we see them.
Forgiveness Principle
4. Sincerity is demanded.
Not merely I have to but I want to for all the reasons mentioned here.
We are going to act upon this right now by engaging in communion.
As we ready ourselves for Communion and the band returns let’s take time to think about His sacrifice that gave us forgiveness. Who in your life do you need to forgive?
Maybe you cannot go this very moment but you can ask God to forgive you and purpose in your heart to go and forgive that person.